It’s so hard to open up…
As I’ve been shutdown so much…
So many times…
I try…
But my own mind…
Thinks and speaks all the weird things…
That weird them out…
Please hear me out…
As they walk away…
And I they fade away…
Into my dark place…
Where all these memories accumulate…
Whole books and torn pages…
Meant to turn…
Bear witness to my pains…
Every time I try…
Every time I try…
I keep getting denied…
Why???
Why???
Shut it down…
Forever…
The spirits speak…
Treat me to stories…
Of all the deeds…
Past…
Present…
Indeed…
Blessed to see…
Two fiery elements…(Hydrogen/Oxygen)
Cling to pieces of earthen substance…
Combine to give way to sustenance…
Blessed to hear…
The million different sounds…
Sing in unison…
As they make their way…
These blessed rains…
That reflect back upon impact…
Little drops of faith…
Blessed to feel…
Beneath the outstretched limbs…
Of trees that breathe on behalf of us…
Their leaves in green…
Protect me…
Blessed to taste…
Hands raised in qunoot…
To sip the sustenance…
Take care to not exceed…
As the roots beneath…
Need much like me…
Blessed with scents…
That float in the breeze…
Call forth the bees…
And birds that feed…
Sow seeds as they traverse the landscape…
In this life…
As the rains fade away…
Prostrate to my Lord…
And count my blessings…
In this world of majesty…
Master of my destiny…
Never thought it could be…
When you arrived…
What a sight…
Tried to lower my gaze…
And look away…
Hide my smile…
My own style…
While emotions pile…
Build to this moment…
But I couldn’t…
Instead you did…
And so began this chapter…
As our stories had long been underway…
Flip back and forth the pages…
To witness it all again…
With a new lens…
And love in hand…
Hand in hand…
Watch this sunset…
Fading red…
Here my body lays in repose…
The final chapter of mine closes…
Not draped with roses…bare naked…
Actually it an autopsy…
Months pass and nobody wants to claim my body…
I’m in the ethereal form now…
Steps from Hell…
Still looking down on my poor state…
This is what happens to one who loses faith…
Who loses friends…Who loses family…
Lost my sanity…
Naturally I was depressed…
So I regressed in all ways you can think…
Each night resorted to singing and writing out my pain…
Refrained from naming names of those who caused me so much pain…
Truth is I wouldn’t be able to explain…
In the end I’d still deserve all the blame…
Either way…
Nobody would come to my funeral…
The time for claiming me has expired…
Long after I expired…Coroner, all the heads getting tired…
Before they retire for the night…
Sign the sheet…
checking off where I will be buried…
An unmarked grave…
So sad they didn’t even know my name…
I shout who I am..!
But I’m a ghost…
My voice carries no force…
So Sad…So Sad…
I’m left here to reflect on how I became a reject…
I have no answers!
Only slurry banter now fills my mind…
How did time just pass me by…?
Why did I not realize I was losing my soul before it was too late..?
Why didn’t I keep my faith!?
Why am I in such a sad state!?
Why won’t any one…anyone visit me?
Why won’t anyone even say goodbye?
Am I not worth even that simple act of kindness?
It’s the final call…
I’m being wheeled down the hall in a makeshift casket…
None of the masses want to see me…
They taking me to get buried…
I scream: “Please!”
“Someone please talk to me!?”
“Please someone visit me!”
“Don’t let my last seconds on this earth be lonely…”
“I only ask for one person…just one”
It was no point…
Nobody liked me…Nobody remembered me…
Everybody left me all alone…
They let me slip away…
I also let myself slip away into the dark abode…
If only they’d know just how sad I really was…
But I guess it was never meant to be…
I try to hold onto my body…
As they lower me down…
Never to be seen again…
I look into the distance…in the shadows of night…
Hoping for someone to rush to say goodbye…
Nobody…Nobody says goodbye…Nobody came…
Silent Funeral…
Intro: The story comes to an end.
Previous Chapters…
Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/
Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/
Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/
Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/
Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/
Mystical Prayers VI – https://silentscholar.com/2020/06/27/mystical-prayers-vi/
Dear Friend…
I’ve been told…
It is time…
To let go…
I still can’t believe…
How we got here…
Every word left behind…
Stings so many times…
We failed you…
I failed you…
Perhaps my friend…
Wanted it this way…
An end to all the pain…
But was this the path to take…?
I too want an end to this pain…
Each day I pray and hear silence…
I too have tools to do the deed…
And meet you my friend…
One day I will see you again…
I don’t know when…
But this world isn’t for me either…
Intro: A continuation of the story…
Previous Chapters…
Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/
Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/
Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/
Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/
Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/
I was told…
There exists a place…
Where souls wait…
As a Higher Being decides…
When it’s time…
Find some reason to live or die…
I only ask…
Hear my pleas…
Please intercede for me…
For two lives will be lost…
If you take this one…
Who means the whole world to me…
Yet the signs are so clear…
Tests all reveal…
Let go…
Intro: A continuation of the story…
Previous Chapters…
Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/
Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/
Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/
Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/
It’s time…
Time to decide…
Which phase of life…
While all this time…
I’ll wonder why…
I have so much to ask…
But you won’t hear me…
Only leave me to read…
All this misery…
Written in code…
This isn’t who I knew…
Know…
I mean know…
Can’t say it’s over…
Hands clasped…
With eyes up to the sky…
Whether life lies here or beyond…
Know that I’ll be by your side…
Must remain full of faith…
Please Lord let me just say…
Let my friend breathe again…
Intro: A continuation of the story…
Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/
Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/
Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/
Please breathe…
I beg you please…
Between III and IV…
A story so foretold…
Through this very last note..
—
“To all around me”
I just couldn’t do it anymore…
I couldn’t live. knowing no one cares…
Not you (private)…
You (private)…
You (private)…
or You (private)…
Ignored by all…
From the skies to the ground…
No sounds…
My prayers went unanswered…
While all around I see happiness…
Where is my happily ever after…?
Who wrote this story…
Me beginning to end…
Filled with nothing…
Nothing to show…
No one to show…
Nothing more to know…
Goodbye all…
—
Yet you still breathe…
Some spirit within me…
Still believes…
Feel my pulse…
It beats for you…
Do not leave…
How could I have not seen…
How you’ve struggled so greatly…
I ask You…
Oh Higher Power…
Why didn’t you give me a sign!?
To see this struggle in plain sight!
I can’t bear to see you die..
You are worth the world…
Please believe…
Please pray…
They don’t look twice…
They never do…
Why the need…?
So many people better than me…
Yet here I am hoping I’ll be seen…
See what I see…
What I believe…
That I can be…
Loved unconditionally…
But what has passed…
Before I’m given my chance…
Past piece of romance…
Lost but that’s because I’m the best…
Or really because I’m all that is left…
Intro: A continuation of the story…
Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/
Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/
This day…
This day…
Finally…
The voices are so clear…
Heart is so full of fear…
Couple dozen years…
Replay so near…
Cold metallic object…
Pressed on my skin…
Wondering what will happen…
If I chose to do the deed…
Voices plead…
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!
Torn between those two sounds…
Torn between two beams of light…
One with a dark hue…
While the other burns so bright…
What path shall I choose…?
I don’t know!
Fall to my knees…
Begging someone…
Something…
Please answer me!
Faith tells me You are the One…
Yet here I am…
Hearing nothing as I call out…
Why am I even me…?
Don’t understand why I even came to be…
Why couldn’t you just silence me…?
That day when I first cried…
Now it’s this day…
Silent Scholar 