Posts Tagged ‘Hope’

Intro: A continuation of the story…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

 

This day…
This day…
Finally…
The voices are so clear…
Heart is so full of fear…
Couple dozen years…
Replay so near…
Cold metallic object…
Pressed on my skin…
Wondering what will happen…
If I chose to do the deed…
Voices plead…
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!

Torn between those two sounds…
Torn between two beams of light…
One with a dark hue…
While the other burns so bright…
What path shall I choose…?

I don’t know!
Fall to my knees…
Begging someone…
Something…
Please answer me!

Faith tells me You are the One…
Yet here I am…
Hearing nothing as I call out…
Why am I even me…?
Don’t understand why I even came to be…
Why couldn’t you just silence me…?
That day when I first cried…
Now it’s this day…

I see heavy rains…
In these puddles I see…
Reflections of my misery…
Yet in the background…
The frowns…
Ever so present…
Ever so resound…
Take much of my days…

Till this day…
All seems strange…
All of a sudden rains go away…
But puddles remain…
Past pieces of memories…
Palm deep and dirty to the touch…
But for once…
The reflections change…
I see smiles…
I see love…

Intro: This continues the tale from before.
https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

The voices continue…

Prayers are supposed to solve all…
Yet here I am all alone…
Voice still so soft…
About to blow…
And give it all up…
These petals are all plucked…
Left flushed with all this lost love…
Their voices tell me it’s enough!!
Give up…

If not then give in…
And let the pain win…
They don’t care…
Fate don’t care..
What’s up there…
Ignores all your cries…
Prayers are all denied…
Now The spirits require sacrifice…
Pay the price…
That will set you free…
From all those needs…

The need for love…
The wish for happiness…
Give in…
These are your prayers answered…
Listen…
Voices speak…
Do the deed…

Mystical Prayers

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Poetry
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Feeling the spirits scream…
The voices proclaim…
That you are out of place…
You don’t fit amongst them…
Come back to us..

But how can I…?
I still have their desires…
Still need and want all…
Walls come closer…
With just one outlet…
One light…
Blinded by what’s just beyond…
Drawn…

Yet other spirits scream…
Tinged with a familiar voice…
Faint…
No not a voice…
Echos of past choices…
And what I’ve seen…
Read and dread what I may do tonight…

Who are you…?
Today I was all smiles…
But now those voices tell me…
Only one deed can set me free…
But what about them…?
Being different hurts…

But they don’t hate you…
But they don’t care too…
Pacing knowing no one loves me…
Praying…
Praying for what they have…
Praying one day I can stand…
And proclaim…
I belong…

The Gaze

Posted: March 6, 2017 in Poetry
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Taught since so young…
To look the other way…
Look down…
Respect them the way people of faith should…
But growth in mind and spirit over time…
Leads one to wonder…
Can one smile?
Or can one???

Faith tells one…
Lower you gaze…
Look away…
But what of a smile…?
I mean no harm…
Never will go far…
Cross towards what’s wrong…
To worry her…
Hear my heart…
Just wants someone…
To be in rhythm…

But see there…
Perhaps you’ve went too far…
Not everyone falls in love…
At first lust sight…
But perhaps…
Not what you meant…
Yet can’t help but think….
That’s what been said…
Without one word…
The way you look at her…
Lust or love…

Be it lust….
I try to look away…
Try to suppress…
That carnal desire for sex…
Yet how can one do all the next steps…
Some skip ahead and violate her instead…
As if no one cared for consent…
Only egos get fed…

Or perhaps just an innocent smile…
To brighten ones day…
And be on my way…
Live life fully…
And let faith help find me…
What begins with a smile…
Maybe that’s what faith meant…
My method…

Intro: I’ve written about bullying in the past. It’s something I’m not sure I have experienced. However hearing the stories of misery and the lack of care hurts a great deal. The cries for help are often discarded and ignored. Often the outcasts are or those who look “different” from others are treated terribly. An exploration into thoughts and stories…

Reality bites…
Especially when light is nonexistent…
Only darkness and its pervasive persistence…
How is it possible for darkness to carry no mass…
Yet weigh me down so fast…
For when this young fledgling tries to fly…
Society shuns and denies…
You are not among us…
Stay small…
Clip your wings…
Fall back to where you belong…

In the shadows…
Plastered upon the wall of memories…
Pieces of misery after miseries…
The mysteries of a being who tried…
But society decided otherwise…
Sold a set of lies…
That I believe so strongly…

Hand pressed so hard on my heart…
Hoping they would change…
Give me that one break…
To prove I belong among them…
In the sky…

Winged flight…
Only to be ensnared…
Thrown back to reality…
Without care…
Know your place…
A pain too heavy to bear…
The darkness…

I Wish…

Posted: October 7, 2016 in Poetry
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All of us hope…
Hope and there she was…
Hurt by someone she loved…
Hurt so hard…
Left torn apart…
Yet still drawn…
The strings of time remain strong…
The theory of progression…
The healing of wounds…
All seemed so true…

For just a moment…
I could see what my heart dreams…
A field of green where we would dance…
Amongst the stars…
But now awake and alarmed…
As she’s still drawn…
While by my side…
All those words…
Now the cries…
Make me wonder what will be…

Yet I still dream…
I still see hope in those same eyes…
But perhaps I’m being blind…
But maybe she’ll see me as the light…
To help guide her through these trials…
Or maybe just ride these waves…
Just imagine if I choose to wait…

So I still stay…
Yet each passing day yields more pain…
Wondering what will be…
Till today…
When I help set her free…
Just need a little bit of sweet…
And little bit of love…
A little bit of verse…
Spiritual sonnets…
Surely we will bond…

{spoken}
Dearest one…
We’ve been together for so long…
I feel that we can be even more…
Remember all the good times we had…
All the good times we still have…
Beyond friendship…
Beyond love…
Wish for something more…
Can we be more…?

____

As he gets down on one knee…
The pain and love from her past…
Comes back and stings…
She can’t help but think there’s more…
Hidden from his eyes…
Only she can see…
She turns away…
Leaves…
As he’s left in pain…
Wondering who’s to blame…?