Posts Tagged ‘Friendship’

Intro: To end Autism Awareness month on a positive note. Love is the most powerful force.

Are you the one…?
As I walk back and forth…
Conjure up a dream…
The ideal…
The one that is me…
With the one that is meant for me…
In a place of blooms…
With colors abound…
Telling stories of love…
Yet with one color gone…

Where is the blue…?
Where do the blue flowers bloom…?
Catch a glimpse of another me…
Shy and tied to me by a rope only I can see…
Shakes and now I feel his ways…
While she wonders who is real…
As if two occupy the same space…
What she’d seen before now is no more…

But she’s the one…
Sees just how both parts and more form…
This rainbow of beautiful…
Those delicate petals…
Easily bruised…
Yet still bloom…

But not under the sun…
Blue blooms at night…
When all gets quiet…
Just for who’s right…
Just me and you…

Intro: Original title comes from the Tears of a Clown: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tears_of_a_Clown. Although I originally discovered it from a Tupac Shakur song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyRyGUjsik4

This song addresses the many times when one processes things differently than the norm. When anxiety, bullying, personality go to a dark place.

Another day…
Time for never ending laughs that last all the time I’m around….
Nothing but a clown is all they see…So they proceed to treat me as they please…
Ignoring my silent pleas for them to stop…
But all they see is a smile that begs to be fed more dread…
They believe I can handle it…
So I’m hit…Again and again…
Each insult is responded with a smile…
But it’s all for fun…?
So why should I take it so hard….
So hard…So hard…
I invited it all…

Another day…
I wonder why I even lift my head…?
I wonder why I even get up off bed…?
This life I’ve led borders on worthlessness…
I get no respect…
How about getting a speck of sympathy…?
Or will this life I lead be stuck on a trek towards something so low…
So alone…
I’m trying to figure out how act in my next show…
Trying to pick the clothes to be worn…
So the audience can be pleased…
while my misery is tucked deep inside of me…
Hidden behind a smiling face…
A face that “says” “I’m OK”….

Tonight…
Bravo! Bravo! Excellent show!
I try to take a bow…
To symbolize that I’m proud…
Proud to be tip of well told jokes…
Proud that I could hold back my tears and put on a smile…
Proud that this “lie” has made their lives worthwhile…
If only for a moment in time…
Shouldn’t I be thrilled when people smile…?
Isn’t laughter the language of the soul…?
Then why do I keep feeling so cold after each torrid show…?
They can’t see my pain…
Through all this face paint…
But even if I came plain…
It would still all be in vain…
So I must maintain this image of a clown…
One who brings a smile to all those around…
That’ll be my eternal crown…
“The one that makes us smile”

1, 2, 3 , 4…

Pair up…
Afraid of those words…
Afraid that I’ll be picked last…
As I won’t build those same bonds…
Built over time…
Or in an instant…
For when I try…
Or rather not…
Just stay to the side…
And hope a single soul sees…
This being begging for some piece…
Of what it means to belong…
If just for a moment…
Then I promise to leave…
Back to my reality…
Back to peace…
____

Intro: April is Autism Awareness month. Taking a hiatus from other topics in progress to focus on writings that perhaps reflect the nuances.

It’s my World….
At peace with words…
The sounds…
Thoughts from inside…
Bridge being my eyes…
Sights from outside…
Peer into my mind…

Focus…
Focus…
Can’t…
She’s too…
Is she sweet…
Look away…
Look away…

Maybe a slight grin…
Then this can begin…
Be you…
But be me…?
You know where that leads…
Me being broken…
Misunderstood like before…
Better to be in my world…

Where the sounds tell more…
Whole stories about heroes…
Even tragedies…
But forever happy to be me…
Back to my world…
_____

Intro: An older one that still stays relevant to this day.

Waking up stressed…All my pain starts to crest…So much so I can’t address it anymore…I want to let it overflow…Drown my soul…
But my prose refuses to let me fall so low…
Trembling…Writing that fatal line…Instead, instills the will in me to fight…No matter how hard the struggle…I refuse to buckle…This will we all must have…Some have so little…For them we have to watch over…

Refuse to let them give up…No matter how rough or tough or stuck…or out of luck…Never ever give up…No matter how down you are…No matter how far you got to go…Keep the your will stowed…bound to your soul…Show that you can take the abuses and emerge stronger…Survive…Survive…

I’m no stranger to depression…Seems each night I engage in a solo session of wondering whether I should just give up…? Looking up and down, and around for some inspiration…
I’m always mired in misery…Maybe I should act out my Suicide Diaries…My twisted belief tells me that the world would be a better place with one less face defined as me…Those types of thoughts continue to plague me…But I know they products of pain that will one day go away…I have this unbreakable faith that guides me through the rain till it shines…No matter how many binds I’m bound in…I refuse to lose…I choose to win in the end…

The will to survive through all the trials in life is built up over time…Each day I strive to live the best way I can…So no matter how bad the day is, I take solace in knowing I gave it my all…I refuse to let myself fall victim to this harsh system of putdowns, ignored and left-behinds…Each line a write will continue to emphasize living life…through all storms that threaten to knock me and you off course…Stay strong…We’ll all reach that calm shore…