Posts Tagged ‘School’

The Day they rejected me

Posted: May 14, 2022 in Poetry
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I still remember that day…
Day still young…
Smile still with me…
What can go wrong…
If only I had known all along…
How first sights…
Color our sights…

As I enter class…
Start to notice the glances..
Folded notes passing…
Till one drops…
Like a massive bomb…
Blows up all their thoughts…
Burned onto my heart…

But aren’t these words all talk…
Right…?
Stick and stones…
As I clasp my phone…
Messages arrive in storms…
How…?
How’d they know…?

Now my name is only shame…
And so they insist on a mix…
Of diss and malice…
Words that say…
Go away…
Disappear…
Worthless being…
In between…
Bell and bell…
And no help…

Look to my teachers…
Who smile back…
While I smile too…
No avenue…
No place to be safe…
No one to get my pain…
As this day wastes…

Next day…

Perhaps if I plead…
Please tell me…
What I need to do…
Just so everyone around me…
Could be happy…
And stop blaming me…
“Stop being you…!”
But…
I’m trying to change…
All I get back is pain…
I wish I could leave…!
I didn’t mean to be me…

The Library

Posted: June 23, 2021 in Poetry
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Run and Run…

Bricks and wood and gates…
Protect me from their mean faces…
Something so simple as a smile…
So hard to find…
My life lies like this…

But between these walls…
Moments of bliss…
Still believe in fairy tales…
True happiness without fail…
For they came out ok…
After just a taste…
Page after page…

But I stare at the clock…
Beg it to please stop…
As my thoughts create shapes…
All weird crooked ways…
All appear all ok…
40 minutes a day…

While the so-called helpers remain away…
Don’t you see my pain…?
Or is that smile I paint…
Tells a story…
Much like the pages…
Authors know the ways…
To convince one of fairy tales…
Perhaps I’ve done the same…
For 40 minutes a day…
I tell this tale…
And walls around agree…
I’m ok…

Double Doors and Single Doors

Posted: October 27, 2020 in Poetry
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As I approach this…
Note this Entrance…
Note this escape…
As I make my way through the halls..
Trying to time it just right…
Oh no…Door still closed…
Why has time slowed…?

First class hasn’t begun…
Now I’m wondering what can I do…
Doors and doors all locked…
Lunchroom is a no…
Library is still closed…
There’s still those clubs…
Yet can’t name a single one…
That I’m a part of…

That entrance can also be an escape…
But can’t leave just yet…
A full day of dread lies ahead…
Will I survive what’s next…

Be the punchline…

Posted: July 3, 2020 in Poetry
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Be it in class…
Be the joke…

Keep the bullies at bay…
While the insides burn away…
Only to be bandaged back at home…
But raised bumps and scabs take their toll…
Each reminds me of a memory…

So close to making those friends…
40 minutes of making fun…
All at my expense…
Only to see what they really meant…
See them walk away at a pace…
That lets me know my place…
Left with big smile on my face…
Until I turn away…
Just another day…

There lies the punchline…
All they see is this smile…
Not what I feel inside…
How each night I cry…
Bandaged but still in so much pain…
Calling out for someone to care…
How much more of this pain must I bare…?
Hear another knock…
Must be a parent or sibling…
Must maintain some semblance of being fine…
So I smile…

I’ll continue to smile…
As they continue to laugh…
For as long as I can…

Lunchroom

Posted: May 31, 2020 in Poetry
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Hear that ring…
Another day to feel like this…
Witness these fleeting things…
Flings…fuss…
Cus…stuck…
While all around watch…
Should I go in…

I take a peek…
Notice no seats saved for me…
In fact I can see each seat…
Engraved with a name…
Wondering when I’ll earn that same fame…
A simple Hey!
Over here…
We saved you a seat…

Teacher asks..
Are you going in?
One minute until the bell rings…
I nod…
I smile…
Run away…
Back to my safe space…
Where things are ok…

Where I can at least dream…
Among all these stories…
Hungry for happiness..

Silent Cries…?

Posted: June 8, 2014 in Poetry
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Each day I wake up with bare hope…
Hoping to complete one day without being scathed…
Or have the will to bear 8 more hours of pain…
School is Hell…
School is Hell…

Each ring of the bell…
School is Hell…
School is hell…

Each note spells…
School is Hell…
School is Hell…

Spellbound has become time…
Hands refuse to move…
Or they unwind…
To each piercing place and opine…
Make me relive each moment of mine..
Mind by all eyes…

Same look of sigh…
Disdain towards my whole life…
Make me go cry…
Some side locked mines…
Locked up inside…
Banged up by…

My so called friends…
Don’t they hear my cries…?
Or they see that smile…?
Good sport guy…

Pride in being so “kind”.
Use me for dime, dine, and lies…
Behind and in front of me…
These memories…