Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Fading Red {Positive}

Posted: September 6, 2021 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Never thought it could be…
When you arrived…
What a sight…

Tried to lower my gaze…
And look away…
Hide my smile…
My own style…
While emotions pile…

Build to this moment…
But I couldn’t…
Instead you did…

And so began this chapter…
As our stories had long been underway…
Flip back and forth the pages…
To witness it all again…
With a new lens…
And love in hand…

Hand in hand…
Watch this sunset…
Fading red…

Two Birds

Posted: July 20, 2021 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I have seen it…
The way they dance…
Then make haste…
When eyes like mines intrude…
Into their space…

If they allow me just once…
Only once I wish to witness…
What love is…
Between two…
Even if instinct only rules…
Can it be any less real…?
While observing two birds…
All the same…

Run and Run…

Bricks and wood and gates…
Protect me from their mean faces…
Something so simple as a smile…
So hard to find…
My life lies like this…

But between these walls…
Moments of bliss…
Still believe in fairy tales…
True happiness without fail…
For they came out ok…
After just a taste…
Page after page…

But I stare at the clock…
Beg it to please stop…
As my thoughts create shapes…
All weird crooked ways…
All appear all ok…
40 minutes a day…

While the so-called helpers remain away…
Don’t you see my pain…?
Or is that smile I paint…
Tells a story…
Much like the pages…
Authors know the ways…
To convince one of fairy tales…
Perhaps I’ve done the same…
For 40 minutes a day…
I tell this tale…
And walls around agree…
I’m ok…

As I approach this…
Note this Entrance…
Note this escape…
As I make my way through the halls..
Trying to time it just right…
Oh no…Door still closed…
Why has time slowed…?

First class hasn’t begun…
Now I’m wondering what can I do…
Doors and doors all locked…
Lunchroom is a no…
Library is still closed…
There’s still those clubs…
Yet can’t name a single one…
That I’m a part of…

That entrance can also be an escape…
But can’t leave just yet…
A full day of dread lies ahead…
Will I survive what’s next…

Intro: The story comes to an end.

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

Mystical Prayers VI – https://silentscholar.com/2020/06/27/mystical-prayers-vi/

Dear Friend…
I’ve been told…
It is time…
To let go…

I still can’t believe…
How we got here…
Every word left behind…
Stings so many times…
We failed you…
I failed you…

Perhaps my friend…
Wanted it this way…
An end to all the pain…
But was this the path to take…?

I too want an end to this pain…
Each day I pray and hear silence…
I too have tools to do the deed…
And meet you my friend…

One day I will see you again…
I don’t know when…
But this world isn’t for me either…

Be it in class…
Be the joke…

Keep the bullies at bay…
While the insides burn away…
Only to be bandaged back at home…
But raised bumps and scabs take their toll…
Each reminds me of a memory…

So close to making those friends…
40 minutes of making fun…
All at my expense…
Only to see what they really meant…
See them walk away at a pace…
That lets me know my place…
Left with big smile on my face…
Until I turn away…
Just another day…

There lies the punchline…
All they see is this smile…
Not what I feel inside…
How each night I cry…
Bandaged but still in so much pain…
Calling out for someone to care…
How much more of this pain must I bare…?
Hear another knock…
Must be a parent or sibling…
Must maintain some semblance of being fine…
So I smile…

I’ll continue to smile…
As they continue to laugh…
For as long as I can…

Intro: A continuation of the story…

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

I was told…
There exists a place…
Where souls wait…
As a Higher Being decides…
When it’s time…
Find some reason to live or die…

I only ask…
Hear my pleas…
Please intercede for me…
For two lives will be lost…
If you take this one…
Who means the whole world to me…

Yet the signs are so clear…
Tests all reveal…
Let go…

 

Hear that ring…
Another day to feel like this…
Witness these fleeting things…
Flings…fuss…
Cus…stuck…
While all around watch…
Should I go in…

I take a peek…
Notice no seats saved for me…
In fact I can see each seat…
Engraved with a name…
Wondering when I’ll earn that same fame…
A simple Hey!
Over here…
We saved you a seat…

Teacher asks..
Are you going in?
One minute until the bell rings…
I nod…
I smile…
Run away…
Back to my safe space…
Where things are ok…

Where I can at least dream…
Among all these stories…
Hungry for happiness..

Seeds

Posted: February 16, 2020 in Mantras
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Seeds sown in hopes of slow sustained growth produce the best tasting fruit…

In Need

Posted: November 13, 2019 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

In need of…

I need happiness…
I need happiness…

I need a reason…
I need a reason…

This chapter of life…
So full of strife…
All wrapped up tight…
With no hope in sight…

Only a distant past…
Melded with stories that clasp…
Their memories…
But alas I was not present…
Only observing…

Yet yearning for their happiness…
Their smiles so bright…
While mines hides…
Behind my own smile…

My own making…
My own statements…
Sing with me…
I need happiness…