Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Mystical Prayers

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Poetry
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Feeling the spirits scream…
The voices proclaim…
That you are out of place…
You don’t fit amongst them…
Come back to us..

But how can I…?
I still have their desires…
Still need and want all…
Walls come closer…
With just one outlet…
One light…
Blinded by what’s just beyond…
Drawn…

Yet other spirits scream…
Tinged with a familiar voice…
Faint…
No not a voice…
Echos of past choices…
And what I’ve seen…
Read and dread what I may do tonight…

Who are you…?
Today I was all smiles…
But now those voices tell me…
Only one deed can set me free…
But what about them…?
Being different hurts…

But they don’t hate you…
But they don’t care too…
Pacing knowing no one loves me…
Praying…
Praying for what they have…
Praying one day I can stand…
And proclaim…
I belong…

Intro:
This is a reimagining of a previous writing: https://silentscholar.com/2014/10/26/choose-life-i/
This time with just one voice as often there is only one.
__

As I Balance the Scales…
Between Faith and Fate…
Which carries more weight…
At this time and place…
Trace back to this one face…

On my knees with a Holy Book in hand…
Wondering which verse and path…
Leads to a promised land…
But seems fate has other plans…
As my soul only knows days…
Filled with pain that dare me to break…
Beg and ask…
Where are you!?

Page by page I read…
Of miracles witnessed by Holy beings…
Whom I believe…
Each word leads me to dream…
Yet ends in another day breathing…
For no damn reason..!

Faith decreasing ever so…
So close to closing this book…
That took all my pain prayers…
Perhaps in vain…
As there is something strange…
When I turn each page…
Words will me to stay…
“Ar-Rahman”…
Blessed in so many ways…
Believe in better days…

Don’t let your life’s light dim…
Embrace it…
Keep it warm and shining for all times..
Recite line after line of tears & trials…
Even when no voice responds…
You have your own life’s story to hold onto…
The story of…
Finding my place…
Finding fate…
Through faith…

Intro: People can be so mean.
Why is that the cool ones talk about standing up for yourself? Not knowing or caring how hard a world can be for  those who don’t fit in.

Is there dignity in being alone…?
I’ve become a pro at smiles…
Look at me…
See it…
Been practicing since my first memories…

Perhaps those terrible twos carried along…
So everyone sees only bad in me…
Every day I try to believe…
That brighter days will arrive…
Each night…
To the stroke of midnight…
Till Dawn…
I see what no others see…

Someone who wants to be my friend…
In fact more than one…
Can’t count with my own hands…
So happy…
So lucid…
Knowing this moment won’t last…

No one will know this dream…
As no one cares for me…
Back to being told I’m worthless…
Back to being broken daily…
But back tonight…
Must go back…
Smile again…

The Gaze

Posted: March 6, 2017 in Poetry
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Taught since so young…
To look the other way…
Look down…
Respect them the way people of faith should…
But growth in mind and spirit over time…
Leads one to wonder…
Can one smile?
Or can one???

Faith tells one…
Lower you gaze…
Look away…
But what of a smile…?
I mean no harm…
Never will go far…
Cross towards what’s wrong…
To worry her…
Hear my heart…
Just wants someone…
To be in rhythm…

But see there…
Perhaps you’ve went too far…
Not everyone falls in love…
At first lust sight…
But perhaps…
Not what you meant…
Yet can’t help but think….
That’s what been said…
Without one word…
The way you look at her…
Lust or love…

Be it lust….
I try to look away…
Try to suppress…
That carnal desire for sex…
Yet how can one do all the next steps…
Some skip ahead and violate her instead…
As if no one cared for consent…
Only egos get fed…

Or perhaps just an innocent smile…
To brighten ones day…
And be on my way…
Live life fully…
And let faith help find me…
What begins with a smile…
Maybe that’s what faith meant…
My method…

Observer

Posted: January 24, 2017 in Poetry
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The smiles…
Look into me…
Lovely life to live…
With one or by myself…
I see all that spells…
My life…
One…

The smiles…
Too good at that…
While watching time pass…
Kids grow past those old flirts…
Words now mean so much more…
Pour over what’s a crush…
While wondering what’s love…
All paths lead to one…

The smiles…
The congratulations…
Affirmation of love…
Pieced over time…
Parts aren’t so clear…
For I haven’t been as near…
But still proud to see all so happy…

The smiles…
They smile back…
Who doesn’t want to share their joy…
While I fade into dark corridors…
Travel back and forward…
Wondering how time…
And chance chose to pass me by…
And how life is now lived…

The smiles…
My one link to them all…
The nod…
Good luck to my friends…
I’ll be around…

I Wish…

Posted: October 7, 2016 in Poetry
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All of us hope…
Hope and there she was…
Hurt by someone she loved…
Hurt so hard…
Left torn apart…
Yet still drawn…
The strings of time remain strong…
The theory of progression…
The healing of wounds…
All seemed so true…

For just a moment…
I could see what my heart dreams…
A field of green where we would dance…
Amongst the stars…
But now awake and alarmed…
As she’s still drawn…
While by my side…
All those words…
Now the cries…
Make me wonder what will be…

Yet I still dream…
I still see hope in those same eyes…
But perhaps I’m being blind…
But maybe she’ll see me as the light…
To help guide her through these trials…
Or maybe just ride these waves…
Just imagine if I choose to wait…

So I still stay…
Yet each passing day yields more pain…
Wondering what will be…
Till today…
When I help set her free…
Just need a little bit of sweet…
And little bit of love…
A little bit of verse…
Spiritual sonnets…
Surely we will bond…

{spoken}
Dearest one…
We’ve been together for so long…
I feel that we can be even more…
Remember all the good times we had…
All the good times we still have…
Beyond friendship…
Beyond love…
Wish for something more…
Can we be more…?

____

As he gets down on one knee…
The pain and love from her past…
Comes back and stings…
She can’t help but think there’s more…
Hidden from his eyes…
Only she can see…
She turns away…
Leaves…
As he’s left in pain…
Wondering who’s to blame…?

Intro: The Final chapter to this. The first part of this chapter was actually written a few years back as part of

Chapter II, but I decided to incorporate it into this final chapter. It’s a sort of resolution to all that has

happened. I’ve also learned that I need to work more on my writing skills and hope to develop them in the future

Previous Chapters:

Chapter I – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/15/once-upon-a-time-chapter-i/

Chapter II – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/22/chapter-ii-a-sisters-faith/

Chapter III – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/28/chapter-iii-confliction/

Chapter IV – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/17/chapter-iv-violations/

Chapter V – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/21/chapter-v-transfigurations/

Chapter VI – https://silentscholar.com/2016/06/05/chapter-vi-destiny/

There she is…
And this aura of light…
Hearken back to all she hides…
As I get closer…
Wondering why she cries….
Her eyes are never dry…
Till I realize her life has so many times been hurt by the one who’s supposed to love her…
Abused by her father…Sold out to the crowd for pleasure…
For debts had to be paid…And her brother committed the unforgivable sin …
She’s left with just this…
But where is he…?
Where is he…?

That shadowy place…
Where no one dares…
Destiny of the damned…
“I must ask…”
“Your father too?”
“He tried to change in the end…”
“But forgiveness is a hard thing…”
“Perhaps some day…”
“Where is your mom?”

As her tears begin to flow more freely…
As if I just opened a deep wound…
As I’m not ready for her truth…
And my connection to her and all…
She points to the sky and recalls…
How a family once had very little, but had each other…
Lived day by day…
Until one of those days…
Those trails…
Signs of another…
Her mother had been judged…
By men who had never even known her..
Not that she was in the wrong…
But just worth nothing at all!
Collateral!

I’m just as guilty…
Just as much as those men…
Just as much as her father…
Just as much as her son…
Just as much as them all…
Part of the machine…
That took her away…
Turn away my face held down in dismay…

Imagine this story…
One of a kind in sense that each life is worth living…
But this happens far too often…
We are all victims…