Posts Tagged ‘Dream’

Push Pull

Posted: June 19, 2018 in Poetry
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Always been told…
You’re there for me…
Whenever I need…
Yet so many times…
You take me on some ride…
Telling me this and that…
Only to go silent…
Stop…
Push me out…

Fall to the floor…
No map to get back to…
After giving so much time and energy for you…
Only made to be left alone…
In this biting cold…
Wandering….

Till I see this light…
Coming towards me…
I try to follow…
But stuck in my place…
Closer and closer…
Recognize that face…
Pulls me back in…

To share all the new and past pains…
For my words heal and help maintain…
Your resolve…
But at what cost to me…
Not knowing how long I’ll be party…
Before being parted with…
Pushed back to loneliness…

Intro: This continues the tale from before.
https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

The voices continue…

Prayers are supposed to solve all…
Yet here I am all alone…
Voice still so soft…
About to blow…
And give it all up…
These petals are all plucked…
Left flushed with all this lost love…
Their voices tell me it’s enough!!
Give up…

If not then give in…
And let the pain win…
They don’t care…
Fate don’t care..
What’s up there…
Ignores all your cries…
Prayers are all denied…
Now The spirits require sacrifice…
Pay the price…
That will set you free…
From all those needs…

The need for love…
The wish for happiness…
Give in…
These are your prayers answered…
Listen…
Voices speak…
Do the deed…

Mystical Prayers

Posted: October 20, 2017 in Poetry
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Feeling the spirits scream…
The voices proclaim…
That you are out of place…
You don’t fit amongst them…
Come back to us..

But how can I…?
I still have their desires…
Still need and want all…
Walls come closer…
With just one outlet…
One light…
Blinded by what’s just beyond…
Drawn…

Yet other spirits scream…
Tinged with a familiar voice…
Faint…
No not a voice…
Echos of past choices…
And what I’ve seen…
Read and dread what I may do tonight…

Who are you…?
Today I was all smiles…
But now those voices tell me…
Only one deed can set me free…
But what about them…?
Being different hurts…

But they don’t hate you…
But they don’t care too…
Pacing knowing no one loves me…
Praying…
Praying for what they have…
Praying one day I can stand…
And proclaim…
I belong…

Intro: People can be so mean.
Why is that the cool ones talk about standing up for yourself? Not knowing or caring how hard a world can be for  those who don’t fit in.

Is there dignity in being alone…?
I’ve become a pro at smiles…
Look at me…
See it…
Been practicing since my first memories…

Perhaps those terrible twos carried along…
So everyone sees only bad in me…
Every day I try to believe…
That brighter days will arrive…
Each night…
To the stroke of midnight…
Till Dawn…
I see what no others see…

Someone who wants to be my friend…
In fact more than one…
Can’t count with my own hands…
So happy…
So lucid…
Knowing this moment won’t last…

No one will know this dream…
As no one cares for me…
Back to being told I’m worthless…
Back to being broken daily…
But back tonight…
Must go back…
Smile again…

Observer

Posted: January 24, 2017 in Poetry
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The smiles…
Look into me…
Lovely life to live…
With one or by myself…
I see all that spells…
My life…
One…

The smiles…
Too good at that…
While watching time pass…
Kids grow past those old flirts…
Words now mean so much more…
Pour over what’s a crush…
While wondering what’s love…
All paths lead to one…

The smiles…
The congratulations…
Affirmation of love…
Pieced over time…
Parts aren’t so clear…
For I haven’t been as near…
But still proud to see all so happy…

The smiles…
They smile back…
Who doesn’t want to share their joy…
While I fade into dark corridors…
Travel back and forward…
Wondering how time…
And chance chose to pass me by…
And how life is now lived…

The smiles…
My one link to them all…
The nod…
Good luck to my friends…
I’ll be around…

Intro: I’ve written about bullying in the past. It’s something I’m not sure I have experienced. However hearing the stories of misery and the lack of care hurts a great deal. The cries for help are often discarded and ignored. Often the outcasts are or those who look “different” from others are treated terribly. An exploration into thoughts and stories…

Reality bites…
Especially when light is nonexistent…
Only darkness and its pervasive persistence…
How is it possible for darkness to carry no mass…
Yet weigh me down so fast…
For when this young fledgling tries to fly…
Society shuns and denies…
You are not among us…
Stay small…
Clip your wings…
Fall back to where you belong…

In the shadows…
Plastered upon the wall of memories…
Pieces of misery after miseries…
The mysteries of a being who tried…
But society decided otherwise…
Sold a set of lies…
That I believe so strongly…

Hand pressed so hard on my heart…
Hoping they would change…
Give me that one break…
To prove I belong among them…
In the sky…

Winged flight…
Only to be ensnared…
Thrown back to reality…
Without care…
Know your place…
A pain too heavy to bear…
The darkness…

Intro: The Final chapter to this. The first part of this chapter was actually written a few years back as part of

Chapter II, but I decided to incorporate it into this final chapter. It’s a sort of resolution to all that has

happened. I’ve also learned that I need to work more on my writing skills and hope to develop them in the future

Previous Chapters:

Chapter I – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/15/once-upon-a-time-chapter-i/

Chapter II – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/22/chapter-ii-a-sisters-faith/

Chapter III – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/28/chapter-iii-confliction/

Chapter IV – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/17/chapter-iv-violations/

Chapter V – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/21/chapter-v-transfigurations/

Chapter VI – https://silentscholar.com/2016/06/05/chapter-vi-destiny/

There she is…
And this aura of light…
Hearken back to all she hides…
As I get closer…
Wondering why she cries….
Her eyes are never dry…
Till I realize her life has so many times been hurt by the one who’s supposed to love her…
Abused by her father…Sold out to the crowd for pleasure…
For debts had to be paid…And her brother committed the unforgivable sin …
She’s left with just this…
But where is he…?
Where is he…?

That shadowy place…
Where no one dares…
Destiny of the damned…
“I must ask…”
“Your father too?”
“He tried to change in the end…”
“But forgiveness is a hard thing…”
“Perhaps some day…”
“Where is your mom?”

As her tears begin to flow more freely…
As if I just opened a deep wound…
As I’m not ready for her truth…
And my connection to her and all…
She points to the sky and recalls…
How a family once had very little, but had each other…
Lived day by day…
Until one of those days…
Those trails…
Signs of another…
Her mother had been judged…
By men who had never even known her..
Not that she was in the wrong…
But just worth nothing at all!
Collateral!

I’m just as guilty…
Just as much as those men…
Just as much as her father…
Just as much as her son…
Just as much as them all…
Part of the machine…
That took her away…
Turn away my face held down in dismay…

Imagine this story…
One of a kind in sense that each life is worth living…
But this happens far too often…
We are all victims…