Posts Tagged ‘Suicide’

I understand the meaning of strife…
But only through the lens of this life…
For each individual’s soul’s strife is so unique…
For that reason alone I refuse to be your judge or jury…
Only a fellow human being….
Begging you…
Please…
We breathe, bleed, and believe so similarly…
Living individual soliloquies…
But often with audiences of none…

Or just one face…
Projects back pain…
Shut shattered in vain…
Wondering why & and who to blame…
Soul so boldly claims…
My First Middle last name…!

No you are more than what you say…
Or what you believe…
Unique and beautiful being…
Beaming with light…
Don’t give up the fight…
Set your sights on the bright days…
Past this cold dark night…

Easy for you to say…
Even easier to write…
So removed from my plights..
Some nights I close my eyes…
Hoping to never wake up again…
And end this life sentence…
I’ve been punished with…

Not while I stand here with you…
Even if you’ve lost all hope…
Even if you’ve locked all doors…
Just know I’ll be outside braving this “cold”…
And I will never let you go…

But I’m barely known…
Have that look of let down…
Seen before all too many times…
By my own two eyes…
But behind those cloudy tears…
I see someone so sincere…

Why don’t I fit in…?
Why must I be so different…
Am I just some symptom…
Of some diseased substance…
That should’ve never been….

This fight will never end…
Have to fight till the very end…
By your own decisions…
Until then I will listen…

Doesn’t have to end tonight…
Nor does something new need to start…
Know that you heart…
Beats for you…
And I’ll be here too…

Intro: A line from an Ed Sheeran song taken in a totally different direction. That’s the power of words. From giving hope to expressing despair and all in between.

Gone with a spark…
A flash…
A mass of lead and ash…
As I dash right past…
And clasp your hands and mine..
Trying to spot some sign…
Eyes of life…
To the side…
See no note…
To shed some light…
Don’t know why…
On this cold night…
You chose to die…

But what is a choice…
Without context…
As I try process your pains…
Your dear body drifts away…
Lowered into your resting place…
I can’t bear to see your face…
I had so much more to say…

I beg the Lord…
Will you let me visit…
Today and every day…

Intro: The story comes to an end.

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

Mystical Prayers VI – https://silentscholar.com/2020/06/27/mystical-prayers-vi/

Dear Friend…
I’ve been told…
It is time…
To let go…

I still can’t believe…
How we got here…
Every word left behind…
Stings so many times…
We failed you…
I failed you…

Perhaps my friend…
Wanted it this way…
An end to all the pain…
But was this the path to take…?

I too want an end to this pain…
Each day I pray and hear silence…
I too have tools to do the deed…
And meet you my friend…

One day I will see you again…
I don’t know when…
But this world isn’t for me either…

Intro: A continuation of the story…

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

I was told…
There exists a place…
Where souls wait…
As a Higher Being decides…
When it’s time…
Find some reason to live or die…

I only ask…
Hear my pleas…
Please intercede for me…
For two lives will be lost…
If you take this one…
Who means the whole world to me…

Yet the signs are so clear…
Tests all reveal…
Let go…

 

Intro: A continuation of the story…

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

It’s time…
Time to decide…
Which phase of life…
While all this time…
I’ll wonder why…

I have so much to ask…
But you won’t hear me…
Only leave me to read…
All this misery…

Written in code…
This isn’t who I knew…
Know…
I mean know…
Can’t say it’s over…

Hands clasped…
With eyes up to the sky…
Whether life lies here or beyond…
Know that I’ll be by your side…

Must remain full of faith…
Please Lord let me just say…
Let my friend breathe again…

Intro: A continuation of the story…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Please breathe…
I beg you please…
Between III and IV…
A story so foretold…
Through this very last note..


“To all around me”

I just couldn’t do it anymore…
I couldn’t live. knowing no one cares…
Not you (private)…
You (private)…
You (private)…
or You (private)…
Ignored by all…
From the skies to the ground…
No sounds…
My prayers went unanswered…
While all around I see happiness…
Where is my happily ever after…?

Who wrote this story…
Me beginning to end…
Filled with nothing…
Nothing to show…
No one to show…
Nothing more to know…
Goodbye all…

Yet you still breathe…
Some spirit within me…
Still believes…
Feel my pulse…
It beats for you…
Do not leave…

How could I have not seen…
How you’ve struggled so greatly…
I ask You…
Oh Higher Power…
Why didn’t you give me a sign!?
To see this struggle in plain sight!
I can’t bear to see you die..
You are worth the world…
Please believe…
Please pray…

Intro:
This is a reimagining of a previous writing: https://silentscholar.com/2014/10/26/choose-life-i/
This time with just one voice as often there is only one.
__

As I Balance the Scales…
Between Faith and Fate…
Which carries more weight…
At this time and place…
Trace back to this one face…

On my knees with a Holy Book in hand…
Wondering which verse and path…
Leads to a promised land…
But seems fate has other plans…
As my soul only knows days…
Filled with pain that dare me to break…
Beg and ask…
Where are you!?

Page by page I read…
Of miracles witnessed by Holy beings…
Whom I believe…
Each word leads me to dream…
Yet ends in another day breathing…
For no damn reason..!

Faith decreasing ever so…
So close to closing this book…
That took all my pain prayers…
Perhaps in vain…
As there is something strange…
When I turn each page…
Words will me to stay…
“Ar-Rahman”…
Blessed in so many ways…
Believe in better days…

Don’t let your life’s light dim…
Embrace it…
Keep it warm and shining for all times..
Recite line after line of tears & trials…
Even when no voice responds…
You have your own life’s story to hold onto…
The story of…
Finding my place…
Finding fate…
Through faith…

Choose Life I

Posted: October 26, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Completed the song (draft) from prior: https://silentscholar.com/2013/04/25/choose-life-draft/
_____

Intro: Suicide…Call it what it is…It need not be the actual action to take ones life…Giving up on life is
just as sad…There are those who say one has to right to end ones own life. In a way I agree with them…But
that does not mean I see it as the right thing to do…No one should give up…Please don’t give up…Choose

Life…

I understand the meaning of strife…
But only through the lens of this life…
For each individual’s soul’s strife is so unique…
For that reason alone I refuse to be your judge or jury…
Only a fellow human being….
Begging you…
Please…
We breathe, bleed, and believe so similarly…
Living individual soliloquies…

But often with audiences of none…
Or just One (Creator)…But perhaps being just us can be enough…
Truth is I don’t have the answers…
Only this protracted banter…
With one goal alone…
To not let you go…
Even if you’ve lost all hope…
Even if you’ve locked all doors…
Just know I’ll be outside braving this “cold”…

Talk to me…Please talk to us…Or just someone…
Perhaps yourself…
I often spend nights pacing footsteps…
“Comforted” by my own distress…
Mind telling me life’s messed…
“Take those next steps…”

I swear I would…
Knowing that full truth I could…
But faith holds me back…
If only I can harness that essence and pass…
But I can’t…
I can’t…
You must harness it yourself…
But until then I’m here to help…
Will never let you go…

Intro: This is rather dark…

My life has been nothing but a waste…
I’m a waste of skin…

Why couldn’t I have been still born…?
Or smothered at the first sound of life…
Gasping for air till I turned pale and white…
Or buried alive…Nobody caring for my cries as I slowly die…
But instead I’m living this worthless life!

Enslaved to all these slights that are breaking me down…
Yet the ground stays whole…Won’t let me enter its dark folds…
I beg…I beg…Let death be only thing I have to face…
Let “this” waste of a human being be no more…
Let me die…

Intro: Suicide…Call it what it is…It need not be the actual action to take ones life…Giving up on life can be just as sad…There are those who say one has to right to end ones own life. In a way I agree with that idea…But that does not mean I see it as the right thing to do…

I understand the meaning of strife…But only through lens of my life…
For each indivdual’s soul’s strife is so unique…
For that reason alone I refuse to be a judge or jury…
Only a fellow human being….
Begging you…
Please…
We breathe, bleed, and believe so similarly…
Living individual soliloquies…
But often with audiences of none…
Or just One…Perhaps being just us can be enough…?