Posts Tagged ‘Love’

“First Chance”

How many times can I try…
Living a lifetime of lies…
Young and in love…
Let me go back…
And remember my crush…

What was once barely an exchange…
Boys and girls still had cooties…
Remembering just how unruly I could be…
Wild and untamed….
But as we age…
Thoughts begin to change…

What was the daze of childhood…
Gave way to fog…
Pushed through and saw…
What a beautiful face…
Beautiful Name…
That got me to calm down ever so briefly…
A raucous teen with hints of that intensity…

Fate would have us go our separate ways…
Until a chance run in this beautiful city…
So sure we were we…
A small hello chat and disappear…
Led to more chats and my very first chance…

Yes we were something…
But I was something different…
Perhaps deficient…
My lack of meaningful friendships and clinginess…
Made for a toxic mix with your head-strongedness…
So I said the four letter word…
Along with a showering of gifts…
Only to frighten you away…

But things didn’t end there…
I couldn’t stay away…
Some of my saddest tendencies gave way…
Kept reaching out…
Couldn’t shut my mouth or mind…
And move on…
So you took the effort and I eventually obliged…
And life moved on…

“Second Chance”

Or so I thought it did…
Only to be made aware…
A faint hope…
Brought forth through an old friend…
My name being mentioned with yours again…
And just like that…
Happiness…

I still remember dreaming so intense…
On how I’d achieve all this fame…
Only to thank you in front of the whole world…
Let them know just how much you were owed..
All my life history…
But none of this was written yet…
Only thoughts in my head…
Bear witness world here’s my second chance…

However I had one big test…
A meeting with your parents…
Which one of them…
The mysteries of life…
And so I tried…
Tell my life story…
All my desires…
Testify my truths…
Perhaps with some demons too…

But your loving parents refused…
And I became reduced…
To that young kid again…
With no one to tell…
Other than myself…
Cry and Cry…
Eventually realizing I can move on…

“Third Chance”

And life continued…
School and work and play…
But no new relations…
Ever so patient…
Waiting for fate…
To guide my life…
Or cast my dreams aside…
Content with being me…
Intensity…

However fate with all its mysteries…
Would test me once again…
A chance reconnection…
With one who knew you and me so well…
Begged me to tell it all…
So they could hear my case…
Once again blinded by faith…
Promised to pass on my words…

As I waited for you to respond…
My thoughts begun to swarm…
With warm notes and quotes…
Smile with me I say…
As I prepare for this day…
My last chance…
To see you face to face…

As we lock eyes…
Still perfect to me…
My mind says…
Yet I notice how you look away…
And hesitate to say…
What I know you wish to say…
Please say it to me…
Please give me peace…
Even through grief…

The irony of it all…
Pity the fool who dared thought…
That there could be more…
Left and back to the start…
Chances waned and lost…
All left is a shard…
With cuts and carves and parts…
No one will ever know…
Who we are…
Who we were..
I carry on…

Fading Red {Positive}

Posted: September 6, 2021 in Poetry
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Never thought it could be…
When you arrived…
What a sight…

Tried to lower my gaze…
And look away…
Hide my smile…
My own style…
While emotions pile…

Build to this moment…
But I couldn’t…
Instead you did…

And so began this chapter…
As our stories had long been underway…
Flip back and forth the pages…
To witness it all again…
With a new lens…
And love in hand…

Hand in hand…
Watch this sunset…
Fading red…

Love & Faith…
Beams from beads of seeds…
Birth beneath erupts rosaries…
Each speak of beliefs in Beings…
Paths rooted in need…
A reason to be…
Foreseen through many means…
As faith has but one tree…
From which all beliefs be…

Those divine lights…
That range from deep shines…
To deep signs…
That help us dream…
Words like Alif Lam Meem…

Undefined at first sight…
Yet they still guide…
And draw our hearts…
Towards those parts…
Blessed particles of life…

That vibrate in varied ways….
States of faith…
That may explain…
Why we write in these ways…
And illustrate across this canvas…
Page by page…
In awe of what we’ve created…

Two Birds

Posted: July 20, 2021 in Poetry
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I have seen it…
The way they dance…
Then make haste…
When eyes like mines intrude…
Into their space…

If they allow me just once…
Only once I wish to witness…
What love is…
Between two…
Even if instinct only rules…
Can it be any less real…?
While observing two birds…
All the same…

Seeds

Posted: February 16, 2020 in Mantras
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Seeds sown in hopes of slow sustained growth produce the best tasting fruit…

In Need

Posted: November 13, 2019 in Poetry
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In need of…

I need happiness…
I need happiness…

I need a reason…
I need a reason…

This chapter of life…
So full of strife…
All wrapped up tight…
With no hope in sight…

Only a distant past…
Melded with stories that clasp…
Their memories…
But alas I was not present…
Only observing…

Yet yearning for their happiness…
Their smiles so bright…
While mines hides…
Behind my own smile…

My own making…
My own statements…
Sing with me…
I need happiness…

They don’t look twice…
They never do…
Why the need…?
So many people better than me…

Yet here I am hoping I’ll be seen…
See what I see…
What I believe…
That I can be…
Loved unconditionally…

But what has passed…
Before I’m given my chance…
Past piece of romance…
Lost but that’s because I’m the best…
Or really because I’m all that is left…

I see heavy rains…
In these puddles I see…
Reflections of my misery…
Yet in the background…
The frowns…
Ever so present…
Ever so resound…
Take much of my days…

Till this day…
All seems strange…
All of a sudden rains go away…
But puddles remain…
Past pieces of memories…
Palm deep and dirty to the touch…
But for once…
The reflections change…
I see smiles…
I see love…

Push Pull

Posted: June 19, 2018 in Poetry
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Always been told…
You’re there for me…
Whenever I need…
Yet so many times…
You take me on some ride…
Telling me this and that…
Only to go silent…
Stop…
Push me out…

Fall to the floor…
No map to get back to…
After giving so much time and energy for you…
Only made to be left alone…
In this biting cold…
Wandering….

Till I see this light…
Coming towards me…
I try to follow…
But stuck in my place…
Closer and closer…
Recognize that face…
Pulls me back in…

To share all the new and past pains…
For my words heal and help maintain…
Your resolve…
But at what cost to me…
Not knowing how long I’ll be party…
Before being parted with…
Pushed back to loneliness…

Intensity {Story in a Song}

Posted: August 6, 2017 in Poetry
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On days where you feel misunderstood…

Silent Scholar

A dream…
For you to understand…
Just how much I care…

Language…
The choice of words…
Choice of verbs and phrases…
Makes for this way I feel..

That seems so odd…
How can one feel so strong…
Without the time needed to bond…
As if one touch releases all…

Perhaps there’s a cause…
Deep down inside…
I’ve felt lost…
Yet in you I see all the signs…
See you as the guide…
For my flows…

Knee deep in the throes…
Of being no more…
Yet the mere showing of you…

Apologies for being me…
But if there is only one person who could see…
The beauty in being me???
Or have I become so deluded…
As you remain quiet…
Uneasy…

Leaving me to wonder…
What have I shared…
That has lead to this blank stare…
Don’t you love me???

What have I done…
This glimpse of shared love…
Broken by…

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