Posts Tagged ‘Hate’

The Day they rejected me

Posted: May 14, 2022 in Poetry
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I still remember that day…
Day still young…
Smile still with me…
What can go wrong…
If only I had known all along…
How first sights…
Color our sights…

As I enter class…
Start to notice the glances..
Folded notes passing…
Till one drops…
Like a massive bomb…
Blows up all their thoughts…
Burned onto my heart…

But aren’t these words all talk…
Right…?
Stick and stones…
As I clasp my phone…
Messages arrive in storms…
How…?
How’d they know…?

Now my name is only shame…
And so they insist on a mix…
Of diss and malice…
Words that say…
Go away…
Disappear…
Worthless being…
In between…
Bell and bell…
And no help…

Look to my teachers…
Who smile back…
While I smile too…
No avenue…
No place to be safe…
No one to get my pain…
As this day wastes…

Next day…

Perhaps if I plead…
Please tell me…
What I need to do…
Just so everyone around me…
Could be happy…
And stop blaming me…
“Stop being you…!”
But…
I’m trying to change…
All I get back is pain…
I wish I could leave…!
I didn’t mean to be me…

The Library

Posted: June 23, 2021 in Poetry
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Run and Run…

Bricks and wood and gates…
Protect me from their mean faces…
Something so simple as a smile…
So hard to find…
My life lies like this…

But between these walls…
Moments of bliss…
Still believe in fairy tales…
True happiness without fail…
For they came out ok…
After just a taste…
Page after page…

But I stare at the clock…
Beg it to please stop…
As my thoughts create shapes…
All weird crooked ways…
All appear all ok…
40 minutes a day…

While the so-called helpers remain away…
Don’t you see my pain…?
Or is that smile I paint…
Tells a story…
Much like the pages…
Authors know the ways…
To convince one of fairy tales…
Perhaps I’ve done the same…
For 40 minutes a day…
I tell this tale…
And walls around agree…
I’m ok…

Double Doors and Single Doors

Posted: October 27, 2020 in Poetry
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As I approach this…
Note this Entrance…
Note this escape…
As I make my way through the halls..
Trying to time it just right…
Oh no…Door still closed…
Why has time slowed…?

First class hasn’t begun…
Now I’m wondering what can I do…
Doors and doors all locked…
Lunchroom is a no…
Library is still closed…
There’s still those clubs…
Yet can’t name a single one…
That I’m a part of…

That entrance can also be an escape…
But can’t leave just yet…
A full day of dread lies ahead…
Will I survive what’s next…

Be the punchline…

Posted: July 3, 2020 in Poetry
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Be it in class…
Be the joke…

Keep the bullies at bay…
While the insides burn away…
Only to be bandaged back at home…
But raised bumps and scabs take their toll…
Each reminds me of a memory…

So close to making those friends…
40 minutes of making fun…
All at my expense…
Only to see what they really meant…
See them walk away at a pace…
That lets me know my place…
Left with big smile on my face…
Until I turn away…
Just another day…

There lies the punchline…
All they see is this smile…
Not what I feel inside…
How each night I cry…
Bandaged but still in so much pain…
Calling out for someone to care…
How much more of this pain must I bare…?
Hear another knock…
Must be a parent or sibling…
Must maintain some semblance of being fine…
So I smile…

I’ll continue to smile…
As they continue to laugh…
For as long as I can…

For the Defense…

Posted: August 6, 2019 in Poetry
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How do you justify taking a life?

On trial…
Where we commodify her right to be and she…
Indeed no one cares when that zygote sans sperm expels…
Oh do tell her how you care…
As you watch her bear the costs for being she…

Religious

Posted: June 15, 2019 in Mantras, Uncategorized
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So called “religious” people have killed religion for so many people…

Chapter VII – Epilogue

Posted: June 14, 2016 in Poetry
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Intro: The Final chapter to this. The first part of this chapter was actually written a few years back as part of

Chapter II, but I decided to incorporate it into this final chapter. It’s a sort of resolution to all that has

happened. I’ve also learned that I need to work more on my writing skills and hope to develop them in the future

Previous Chapters:

Chapter I – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/15/once-upon-a-time-chapter-i/

Chapter II – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/22/chapter-ii-a-sisters-faith/

Chapter III – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/28/chapter-iii-confliction/

Chapter IV – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/17/chapter-iv-violations/

Chapter V – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/21/chapter-v-transfigurations/

Chapter VI – https://silentscholar.com/2016/06/05/chapter-vi-destiny/

There she is…
And this aura of light…
Hearken back to all she hides…
As I get closer…
Wondering why she cries….
Her eyes are never dry…
Till I realize her life has so many times been hurt by the one who’s supposed to love her…
Abused by her father…Sold out to the crowd for pleasure…
For debts had to be paid…And her brother committed the unforgivable sin …
She’s left with just this…
But where is he…?
Where is he…?

That shadowy place…
Where no one dares…
Destiny of the damned…
“I must ask…”
“Your father too?”
“He tried to change in the end…”
“But forgiveness is a hard thing…”
“Perhaps some day…”
“Where is your mom?”

As her tears begin to flow more freely…
As if I just opened a deep wound…
As I’m not ready for her truth…
And my connection to her and all…
She points to the sky and recalls…
How a family once had very little, but had each other…
Lived day by day…
Until one of those days…
Those trails…
Signs of another…
Her mother had been judged…
By men who had never even known her..
Not that she was in the wrong…
But just worth nothing at all!
Collateral!

I’m just as guilty…
Just as much as those men…
Just as much as her father…
Just as much as her son…
Just as much as them all…
Part of the machine…
That took her away…
Turn away my face held down in dismay…

Imagine this story…
One of a kind in sense that each life is worth living…
But this happens far too often…
We are all victims…

Chapter VI – Destiny

Posted: June 5, 2016 in Poetry
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Intro: The penultimate chapter to this experiment of writing a short story. I have much to learn and hopefully will develop more a writer.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter I – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/15/once-upon-a-time-chapter-i/

Chapter II – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/22/chapter-ii-a-sisters-faith/

Chapter III – https://silentscholar.com/2016/03/28/chapter-iii-confliction/

Chapter IV – https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/17/chapter-iv-violations/

Chapter V- https://silentscholar.com/2016/05/21/chapter-v-transfigurations/

 
Imagine the story of child…
A boy…
Who grew up with the worst of pains…
But fought back and broke through the chains…
Only to now become enslaved…
To a form of a righteous faith now full of disdain…
Towards those with different names…
Different faces…

There he goes…
Heads to this crowded place…
Takes one look and shrugs a bit..
But remembers his training…
His faith…And the promised space…
An audience with the King…
Forever changed…

Also remembers those very faint memories…
Of a mother, father, sister…
Remembers those smiles…
Through all those past trials she smiled each night…
To put him at ease and so begins those last pleas…
As similar mothers and boys and girls surround…
He chooses to drown them out with recitations…
Painted face of piety…

No more time to waste…
As passerbys wonder why he shakes…
Until one notices his plans…
And acts…!
He does too…
And so goes it all…
That last bit of sound…
That last bit of doubt…
Gone…
Along with so many more…
Another sad episode…
Closes with the pain of many more…

Drones

Posted: April 5, 2016 in Poetry
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Intro: A completed work addressing religious zealotry.
Draft: https://silentscholar.com/2014/01/07/drones-draft/

Anti-zealotry…

I don’t blame belief…
But the believers…
And our deceivers…
Funded by whores who own the media…
Not only the corporate beasts…
But the social speech…
Shared through corner alleys and beats…
Brainwashed poisoned beings that preach…
Rhetoric that heats…
Sadly leads to lobotomies..

Drone beings who only believe one way…
All other paths bane…
Must maim…
While in same breath claim our path is supreme…
As if some High Being gave us the keys…
While locking out the rest of humanity…
Fated them to never be redeemed…
As the zealots continue to scream…
Their tainted beliefs!

Breeding plenty of sheep…
Disposable beings…
Who will sacrifice for something “heavenly”
Become the ultimate remedy…
Raised among right ones…
While the rest of us snuffed…

Because the powers to be…
Feed off the misery…
Feed and process the next set of beasts…
Who breathe hate…
Deceive…
Repeat…

White Noise

Posted: March 12, 2016 in Poetry
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Intro: Static

In this television…flipping through the channels I only see one point of view…The abuse of the powerless by the powerful…
Divide and conquer rituals…Serial shows with never ending plots…
Channel 1: Drug Wars in Ciudad Juarez…
Channel 2: Another black son whose time was “up”…
Channel 3: Drone towards another brown soul…
Wondering whose story shall be told…
Or are we shown just one side..?
Sold just one set of eyes…
Roll the flavor of the day…
Repackaged pain…
With just the right amount of vain…
To keep us full and flaked..
Engrossed…

But in the background…
The sounds…
The signs of something more..
The cries…
The calls of those…
For someone to expose…
The pains…
That grow in silence from those…
Who can make the change…

Check behind the scenes…
Behind the seams…
Tear up the scripts…
Film reel released…
To reveal their stories…

But all the programming…
Their planning…
On demandings…
Changing the context back to nonsense…
Repeat the process…
Dampen…
Deny…
Die…

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