Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Current inspiration…
Be who you are…
And no more…
For a life spent trying to please…
Too often leads to misery…

If he or she won’t let you be…
And treats you as some small piece of sweet…
As that taste leaves so quickly…
And leaves behind pain…

You will never feel at ease…
Trying to find peace…
In a being such as he/she…

Darling don’t cry…
Aint worth it…

Intro: From over 9 years ago. One of the oldest. Was a huge fan of Hip Hop and still am to an extent, but the lyrics aren’t as “polished” as later works. Really was trying to find a voice, but hopefully this story can shine again.

I felt a presence within me…Pen fell down and my eyes became teary…You are not bad was what I was told…Words couldn’t explain the pain I felt in my…my…soul…

I’ve been feeling like a demon ever since I started breathing. My soul was taking a beating thanks to those teachers keep hating…So I committed treason. For so many bullshit reasons…Evil for all four seasons. Body had superficial lesions…Why? Cuz I Turned my back on my soul and Now I had become cold. For I had no conscience to keep me in control. When I was younger they called me a trouble maker…As I got older I started getting bolder. I wanted to carry real weight on my shoulders, so I started taking more risks…I could’ve been called sadistic…

Ever since the age of 5…Every day the teachers tried…Always belittling me…Sorrowed was all I could be. Why they hating me? Was it what I was rocking…Or the extra pens n pencils I was stocking…I tried my best to be the best student…But this was a battle I was losing. So my soul was ambushed like the city of Troy…Goodbye to the childhood of this boy. If teachers kept hating on me, making me the target of their animosity…Fine I’ll fight back ferociously…I decided to be what they wanted me to be…So long to my little good deeds. So long to the apple I left on her table. So began my so sad fable…

Outta nowhere I just stopped caring for anything…Using anyone for my own benefit. Even my friends were pretty much pawns. In this game of chess which my cold soul spawned. So began my eternal haunt. Was this the life I sought? A low voice kept trying to speak to me…But it got deafened by chit chatter of the streets. The street’s voice was more appealing…To materialism I was kneeling. Didn’t care about who I rolled with. As long as in the end I made it. But I started rolling in too deep…I started chilling with the epitomes of the beast…But I also started making some real friends. All of us was lost in this system. So it was a bond we had in common…Till the day are hearts would be stopping…So one deal after another…Soon lost our beginner’s stutter. Haha! Added a new meaning to the term “Office Clutter”, money slipping like fresh churned butter. As long as the Overlords were satisfied, and I got a piece of the pie, I sort of liked my life… I knew I was doing so many wrong things, yet my cold skin couldn’t feel the sting…The Sting of Reality. The fact that my life is a tragedy.

I literally was losing my mind. People asking me to donate to save people’s lives. What about my life! Don’t anyone care about my own possible demise. Then I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection…saw the reason for my apprehension. I’m the reason I may not be alive today…I’ve sold myself to this horrid game. I’ve lost what I had always believed in. What I was even preaching. The right to free thinking n peaceful living. But no one gives a damn about me! So came the passing of the days, feeling that dirty money I was paid. So many mistakes…
I made one mistake too many…me n my dawgz started owing too much money…Then…the day of my near fatal brawl…I had no one too call…Could’ve sworn my life had stalled…In my mind my life story was being drawn…Erase…Thought it was going to end. Then woke up in a hospital bed…Felt all the spots where I bled…You have a Guardian Angel is what the Doctors said…All I could do was look at the ceiling wondering if someone was scheming or was I dreaming…Some one saved me that day. Dropped me off at the hospital that same day.

This was a beginning to an end…But I had a long way to go, before I could find myself…And claim my soul…This is the story that should be told. Don’t live the life of a thug…In the end you’ll be the one with no love. Never fall to peer pressure…you can be so much better. No one goes with you to the grave, but the pain you cause remains. It lives on in all the people you’ve touched. For better or for worse…Always choose love…Never the gun…You could be so much more than what they believe about you. Look around you and find the proof. One Love and Peace! Find Your Self!

Soothing

Posted: April 13, 2015 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

Rays of hope…
The essence of hope…
The essence of solace…

Dare I say…
The warmth that emanates…
From your embrace…
Help me feel safe…
Shed my shell…
And let loose all I’ve felt…

Help spell out love….
In my own soft way…
From this warm night…
Into the bright days…

Forever maintained…
By shared love…
Shared faith…

Intro: An older one that still stays relevant to this day.

Waking up stressed…All my pain starts to crest…So much so I can’t address it anymore…I want to let it overflow…Drown my soul…
But my prose refuses to let me fall so low…
Trembling…Writing that fatal line…Instead, instills the will in me to fight…No matter how hard the struggle…I refuse to buckle…This will we all must have…Some have so little…For them we have to watch over…

Refuse to let them give up…No matter how rough or tough or stuck…or out of luck…Never ever give up…No matter how down you are…No matter how far you got to go…Keep the your will stowed…bound to your soul…Show that you can take the abuses and emerge stronger…Survive…Survive…

I’m no stranger to depression…Seems each night I engage in a solo session of wondering whether I should just give up…? Looking up and down, and around for some inspiration…
I’m always mired in misery…Maybe I should act out my Suicide Diaries…My twisted belief tells me that the world would be a better place with one less face defined as me…Those types of thoughts continue to plague me…But I know they products of pain that will one day go away…I have this unbreakable faith that guides me through the rain till it shines…No matter how many binds I’m bound in…I refuse to lose…I choose to win in the end…

The will to survive through all the trials in life is built up over time…Each day I strive to live the best way I can…So no matter how bad the day is, I take solace in knowing I gave it my all…I refuse to let myself fall victim to this harsh system of putdowns, ignored and left-behinds…Each line a write will continue to emphasize living life…through all storms that threaten to knock me and you off course…Stay strong…We’ll all reach that calm shore…

Finished writing this piece.
Draft Below
https://silentscholar.com/2015/01/12/programming-the-universe-draft/

“Programming the Universe {Multiverse}”

Light…

Is all this just math…?
Or is this patchwork of processes….
Blessed by a Divine Mass…?
Or perhaps all by chance…

Faith beckons me to step back…
And ponder on the place of man…
Within the strands of this perfect program…

Parse through each data point…
To find some logic…
And anoint a joint force…
From this masterful process…
Access to the Divine code…
The strings behind all known and unknown…

The finite glows…
Echo back a past…
That we’ve yet to fully grasp…
For light speed only gives us their memories…
In a shift of red we read their histories…
And wonder where we shall be amongst this tapestry…

Just a hairline in time…
Revealed through texts…
And codified by all lives…
Apprised by this precious gift of life…

Light…

Is all this just math…
Or is this patchwork of processes….
Blessed by a Divine Mass…
Or perhaps all by chance…

Faith beckons me to step back…
And ponder on the place of man…
Within this perfect program…

Parse through each data point…
To find some logic…
And anoint a joint force…
From this masterful prose…
Access to the Divine code…
The strings behind all known and unknown…