Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

Mystical Prayers VII – Finale

Posted: July 12, 2020 in Poetry
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Intro: The story comes to an end.

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

Mystical Prayers VI – https://silentscholar.com/2020/06/27/mystical-prayers-vi/

Dear Friend…
I’ve been told…
It is time…
To let go…

I still can’t believe…
How we got here…
Every word left behind…
Stings so many times…
We failed you…
I failed you…

Perhaps my friend…
Wanted it this way…
An end to all the pain…
But was this the path to take…?

I too want an end to this pain…
Each day I pray and hear silence…
I too have tools to do the deed…
And meet you my friend…

One day I will see you again…
I don’t know when…
But this world isn’t for me either…

Be the punchline…

Posted: July 3, 2020 in Poetry
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Be it in class…
Be the joke…

Keep the bullies at bay…
While the insides burn away…
Only to be bandaged back at home…
But raised bumps and scabs take their toll…
Each reminds me of a memory…

So close to making those friends…
40 minutes of making fun…
All at my expense…
Only to see what they really meant…
See them walk away at a pace…
That lets me know my place…
Left with big smile on my face…
Until I turn away…
Just another day…

There lies the punchline…
All they see is this smile…
Not what I feel inside…
How each night I cry…
Bandaged but still in so much pain…
Calling out for someone to care…
How much more of this pain must I bare…?
Hear another knock…
Must be a parent or sibling…
Must maintain some semblance of being fine…
So I smile…

I’ll continue to smile…
As they continue to laugh…
For as long as I can…

Mystical Prayers VI

Posted: June 27, 2020 in Poetry
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Intro: A continuation of the story…

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

Mystical Prayers V – https://silentscholar.com/2019/10/01/mystical-prayers-v/

I was told…
There exists a place…
Where souls wait…
As a Higher Being decides…
When it’s time…
Find some reason to live or die…

I only ask…
Hear my pleas…
Please intercede for me…
For two lives will be lost…
If you take this one…
Who means the whole world to me…

Yet the signs are so clear…
Tests all reveal…
Let go…

 

Lunchroom

Posted: May 31, 2020 in Poetry
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Hear that ring…
Another day to feel like this…
Witness these fleeting things…
Flings…fuss…
Cus…stuck…
While all around watch…
Should I go in…

I take a peek…
Notice no seats saved for me…
In fact I can see each seat…
Engraved with a name…
Wondering when I’ll earn that same fame…
A simple Hey!
Over here…
We saved you a seat…

Teacher asks..
Are you going in?
One minute until the bell rings…
I nod…
I smile…
Run away…
Back to my safe space…
Where things are ok…

Where I can at least dream…
Among all these stories…
Hungry for happiness..

In Need

Posted: November 13, 2019 in Poetry
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In need of…

I need happiness…
I need happiness…

I need a reason…
I need a reason…

This chapter of life…
So full of strife…
All wrapped up tight…
With no hope in sight…

Only a distant past…
Melded with stories that clasp…
Their memories…
But alas I was not present…
Only observing…

Yet yearning for their happiness…
Their smiles so bright…
While mines hides…
Behind my own smile…

My own making…
My own statements…
Sing with me…
I need happiness…

Mystical Prayers V

Posted: October 1, 2019 in Poetry
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Intro: A continuation of the story…

Previous Chapters…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Mystical Prayers IV – https://silentscholar.com/2019/08/17/mystical-prayers-iv/

It’s time…
Time to decide…
Which phase of life…
While all this time…
I’ll wonder why…

I have so much to ask…
But you won’t hear me…
Only leave me to read…
All this misery…

Written in code…
This isn’t who I knew…
Know…
I mean know…
Can’t say it’s over…

Hands clasped…
With eyes up to the sky…
Whether life lies here or beyond…
Know that I’ll be by your side…

Must remain full of faith…
Please Lord let me just say…
Let my friend breathe again…

Mystical Prayers IV

Posted: August 17, 2019 in Poetry
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Intro: A continuation of the story…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

Mystical Prayers III – https://silentscholar.com/2018/11/15/mystical-prayers-iii/

Please breathe…
I beg you please…
Between III and IV…
A story so foretold…
Through this very last note..

—
“To all around me”

I just couldn’t do it anymore…
I couldn’t live. knowing no one cares…
Not you (private)…
You (private)…
You (private)…
or You (private)…
Ignored by all…
From the skies to the ground…
No sounds…
My prayers went unanswered…
While all around I see happiness…
Where is my happily ever after…?

Who wrote this story…
Me beginning to end…
Filled with nothing…
Nothing to show…
No one to show…
Nothing more to know…
Goodbye all…
—

Yet you still breathe…
Some spirit within me…
Still believes…
Feel my pulse…
It beats for you…
Do not leave…

How could I have not seen…
How you’ve struggled so greatly…
I ask You…
Oh Higher Power…
Why didn’t you give me a sign!?
To see this struggle in plain sight!
I can’t bear to see you die..
You are worth the world…
Please believe…
Please pray…

For the Defense…

Posted: August 6, 2019 in Poetry
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How do you justify taking a life?

On trial…
Where we commodify her right to be and she…
Indeed no one cares when that zygote sans sperm expels…
Oh do tell her how you care…
As you watch her bear the costs for being she…

The Perfect Second

Posted: January 18, 2019 in Poetry
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They don’t look twice…
They never do…
Why the need…?
So many people better than me…

Yet here I am hoping I’ll be seen…
See what I see…
What I believe…
That I can be…
Loved unconditionally…

But what has passed…
Before I’m given my chance…
Past piece of romance…
Lost but that’s because I’m the best…
Or really because I’m all that is left…

Mystical Prayers III

Posted: November 15, 2018 in Poetry
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Intro: A continuation of the story…

Mystical Prayers I – https://silentscholar.com/2017/10/20/mystical-prayers/

Mystical Prayers II – https://silentscholar.com/2018/03/27/mystical-prayers-ii/

 

This day…
This day…
Finally…
The voices are so clear…
Heart is so full of fear…
Couple dozen years…
Replay so near…
Cold metallic object…
Pressed on my skin…
Wondering what will happen…
If I chose to do the deed…
Voices plead…
Yes!
No!
Yes!
No!

Torn between those two sounds…
Torn between two beams of light…
One with a dark hue…
While the other burns so bright…
What path shall I choose…?

I don’t know!
Fall to my knees…
Begging someone…
Something…
Please answer me!

Faith tells me You are the One…
Yet here I am…
Hearing nothing as I call out…
Why am I even me…?
Don’t understand why I even came to be…
Why couldn’t you just silence me…?
That day when I first cried…
Now it’s this day…

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